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DRIVING CONCERNS Having Difficult Conversations About Driving Are you concerned about a friend or family member's driving? Sharing your concerns can be difficult and emotional. But thoughtful planning can go a long way. It is important to have conversations before driving becomes a problem. You should plan to have several conversations over a long period of time. Look for opportunities to talk about driving, like news reports about a crash, bad traffic or inclement weather, or a change in health. Do not feel guilty about mentioning the topic multiple times. Think of these discussions in three parts: 1. How do you approach the conversations? X Consider the meaning of driving and its significance to the driver. For many, driving is more than just a mode of transportation. It is an important part of his or her identity, freedom, and the ability to be independent. Acknowledge and validate the loss they may feel by giving up driving. X Before having the conversations, be sure you have observed the driver over time. Write down the abilities the driver still possesses and note any patterns or frequency of possible warning signs. X Be supportive of any changes the driver has already made, such as reducing the number of trips he or she makes or limiting night driving. X Listen honestly to the person's viewpoint and reasoning and always show compassion and empathy. X Start conversations with your concern for the person's overall well-being and use "I" rather than "you" messages: "I'm concerned about your safety while driving since your surgery... is there anything I can do to help until you are feeling better?" It is not good to say, "You are no longer a safe driver." www.aarp.org/drive Smart Driver Participant Guidebook 97 WHAT DOES THE ROAD AHEAD LOOK LIKE? 5 1 2 3 4 5 6